Washington City Paper: Contents for Apr. 30

The Tights Stuff
D.C. grappler "Massive" Mike Mahoney stands at 5-foot-6. Is that big enough to get in the ring with modern-day Hulk Hogans?

Cover Story

“Massive” Mike Mahoney Jr. knows plenty about paying his dues in the minor leagues of professional wrestling.

Early in Mahoney’s career, a promoter booked him to appear at a show in Freehold, N.J., as a pro-wrestling manager—a performer whose duty it is to escort main-event wrestlers to the ring, but not get physically involved in the action. It wasn’t the preferred role for Mahoney, a burly grappler, but he wasn’t in a position to turn it down.

Because Mahoney didn’t yet own a car, he rode public transportation over a six-hour journey ending with a trip on a New Jersey Transit bus. Once he arrived at the venue, a local armory, the promoter pulled a bait-and-switch, instructing Mahoney that he would be performing that evening first as a manager, then as a wrestler in a “Bunkhouse Stampede” match. Uh-oh.

A bunkhouse match is not your standard, choreographed professional-wrestling contest, where the object is to pin the opponent’s shoulders to the mat for a three-count. As the name implies, a Bunkhouse Stampede is far more dangerous: A group of 12 to 20 wrestlers enter the ring simultaneously, wearing street clothes and brandishing various weapons, such as belts, chains, and even the occasional VCR. The idea is to incapacitate your opponents long enough to toss them over the top rope to the arena floor. The match ends when one wrestler is left standing alone in the ring. With little pro-wrestling training and only a handful of matches under his belt, Mahoney knew right away that the situation could become ugly for him.... Continued

Issue of Apr. 30 - May. 6, 2004

News and Features

The Tights Stuff
D.C. grappler "Massive" Mike Mahoney stands at 5-foot-6. Is that big enough to get in the ring with modern-day Hulk Hogans?
Cover Story By Paul Armentano
Daily Double-Wide
You say "efficiency." I say "trailer."
Feature By Aaron Tallent
Deform and Function
D.C. officials ponder the nature of disabled bikes.
The City By David Morton
What Goes Around, Comes Around
The new idea in District roadways: circles
The City By Mike DeBonis
The Error of Our Ways
The Mail By Laura Tokioka
Buy My Stuff
The Mail By Graham Inge
Buy My Stuff, Too
The Mail By Josh Gibson
What About the Children?
The Mail By Sharon J. Chambers

Columns

The Forgotten Flood of 1971
Cheap Seats By Dave McKenna
Wait Signal
City Desk By Mike DeBonis
Quiet Storm
City Desk By Mike DeBonis
Conventional Thinking
Loose Lips By Elissa Silverman
Extra Extra!
Dept. of Media By Erik Wemple and Dave Jamieson

Eats

Divide and Conquer
Young & Hungry By Todd Kliman

Movies

Little Girls Lost
Film Review By Tricia Olszewski
False Teeth
Film Review By Mark Jenkins
Noi
Film Review By Matthew Summers-Sparks
Laws of Attraction
Film Review By Tricia Olszewski

Music

Badness as Usual
Music Review By Sean Daly
TV on the Radio
Music Review By Joe Warminsky

Theater

Boy Gets Girl
Theater Review By Pamela Murray Winters
The History of Tennessee
Theater Review By Bob Mondello
Don't Wanna Wait in Vain
Theater Review By Trey Graham

Arts and Events

The Hen & Hem Show
Over the past two decades, actors Christopher Henley and Brian Hemmingsen have become D.C.’s finest existentialist-comedy duo. The broken ribs were the easy part.
Arts By Bob Mondello
Shutter Speed
Artifacts By Dave Jamieson
Token English
Artifacts By Pamela Murray Winters