Almost Heaven
In the hermetic confines of Leisure World, you'll find duckpin bowling, a swell 18-hole golf course, and plenty of sprightly retirees. Everybody seems happy here. Everybody but you.
Cover Story
This is where you stand the first time the dueling stenches of death and hair spray commingle in your nostrils and spike your otherwise easygoin' brain: the produce section of a grocery store in a seemingly normal Silver Spring strip mall. There you are, fondling a plump little clementine with your healthy young hands, when the Darkness gooses you with his rusty scythe and lets you know your reservations are in order.
The reality of the situation is nasty enoughhell, there might as well be a vulture squawking atop the cantaloupesbut the timing is the real killer: We all gotta go sometimeyou admit thatbut did you really need to be reminded of your flimsy mortality now?
All thoughts of escape are useless: In the fruits-and-vegetables section of a clean, well-lighted Giant, the Darkness, ol' Mr. Bones himself, has bumped into you like an errant shopping cart and hissed in your ear: You are going to die, my friend, and the way that realization cha-chas its way down your spine, you might just keel over this instant, face-first into the Granny Smiths.... Continued
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