citypaper: archives

Me & My Monkey
Confessions of a White-Collar Dope Fiend

Cover Story

®MDUL¯Where is the cave where the wise woman went

And tell me where is all the money that I spent?

I propose a toast to my self-control

See it crawling helpless on the floor

Someday there'll be a cure for pain

And that's the day I throw my drugs away®MDNM

--Morphine, ''Cure for Pain,” 1993

Sunday afternoon, June 6. I am going to kill myself. No kidding. This time I mean it.

I'm sick. So sick. My last fix was 45 hours and, let's see, 20-odd minutes ago. Ancient history. Not a wink of sleep last night. Jumping out of my skin. No way to get comfortable. Every hour is a day. Every minute an hour.

Marrow sucked from my bones. Ice water in there now. Aching legs flailing. Why do you think it's called kicking? Snot streams from my nose, tears from my eyes. Rancid sweat pours everywhere. Shivering. Shaking. Every hair standing on end. Goose bumps on my goose bumps. Why do you think it's called cold turkey?

Sick. So very sick. Something even sicker? One shot, one lousy shot of dope would set me straight. OK, six hours later, I'd need another. Then another. Then another. So the dope-fiend day goes. In Junktime, though, six hours is a lifetime.

Stack of 20 twenties on the kitchen table. Too fucked up to go out and cop. Just crapped my pants. Third time since sunrise. An hour ago--five hours ago, I don't know--lurching into the john. Another bout of heaving. Didn't make it. Burning stomach acids spewed all over the hallway.... Continued

Issue of Jan. 13 - 19, 1995

News and Features

Columns

Eats

Movies

Music

Theater

Arts and Events

City Lights

This week's best in Arts and Entertainment.

CarTango
DC SEARCH
calendar
restaurants
movies
classified
personals

Find an Event

Enter a keyword, select the type of event, and the particular day this week below.

Submit your event to the City Paper's Event Calendar.

Find a Restaurant

Enter a restaurant name, or select a cuisine and neighborhood below.

Find a Movie

Select a movie theater in the box below to see a list of all movies at that theater.

...Or view a full list of theaters, films, and showtimes.

Search Classified Ads

Post a Classified Ad

Find It

Find a Match

Age range: to
Find It

Who saw you? Check I Saw You
Looking for something kinky? Wild Side

City Paper Newsletter
advertisement

Get a Car

Search inventory on the City Paper's CarTango website:

Free Stuff

CP Events

Can I have seconds?

This Week

Current Issue
The Issue of Oct. 10 - 16, 2008

This Week in
City Paper History

  • Angels Without Wings
    The D.C. Guardian Angels aspire to fight crime like comic-book superheroes. But are they more comic than hero?
    Oct. 2 - 8, 1998
  • Fare Elections
    Cabdriver aims for an African presidency.
    Oct. 3 - 9, 2003
  • Kicking and Screaming
    Soccer is supposed to be the beautiful game. In D.C.'s biggest youth-soccer league, it's turning ugly.
    Oct. 3 - 9, 2003
advertisement
advertisement