Rock Stars Hate Me

By Tina Plottel

Cut the Cheese

There's a game Sarah used to play at work called "Who Would You Kick Out of Bed?"

She and her bookstore colleagues used to pass the time trying to trick everyone into admitting some kind of ludicrous, disgusting truth about themselves. It works like this: The questioner asks, "Who Would You Kick Out of Bed?" and names two people, one more despicable then the next. It keeps going, with the questioner naming a new person each time, sort of like the better-or-worse test at the eye doctor. The rule is, you have to pick somebody, and if it's done correctly, it can turn stomachs.

Pat has a variation of this game that's much less complicated and gory. Music director that he is, he'll name two songs and ask you which one you'd rather listen to. This game is almost as telling as the former, since announcing out loud that you really like Steve Perry's "Oh Sherry" is almost as embarrassing as admitting you'd rather sleep with Herve Villechaize.

So I thought I'd make up my own version of Pat's game, combining it with the ruthlessness of "Who Would You Kick Out of Bed."

It's called the Cheez Quiz.

It's a very simple game: You are trapped in a broom closet, and this little utility space has a radio station all its own, just for you. To be set free, you must listen to one song 10 times in a row. By choosing which of the following scientifically calculated tunes you wish to hear over and over, you will learn just how cheesy you really are.

Ready? Here we go...

Would you rather listen to

"Dream On" by Aerosmith

or "Beth" by Kiss?

If you're a rock star and you hate me, by all means, stop by Hate Central, where we can duke it out in public. Non-rock stars cordially invited, too.

Your Hate Mail in Hate Central

Rock Stars Hate Me Archives